Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
