This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
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