I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
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