If that was your dad, he is hot
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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