What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
