Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
