I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
