kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize