a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
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