I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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