yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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