Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Randomize
