Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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