I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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