Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
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