My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
