Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
