Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
The struggles of a small town man whore
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
