we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
