Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
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