I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
