Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
