dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
