Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize
