Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
