sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
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