You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
