I look better un-naked...
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I miss vodka workout Fridays
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Just high enough for therapy.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
