I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
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