Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
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