Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
