Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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