Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Randomize
