I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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