Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
