I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Randomize
