Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
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