I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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