I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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