I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
