garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Randomize
