is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize