So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
