Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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