I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
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