i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
