marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
