I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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