Your mouth is God's brothel.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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