i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
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