I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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