I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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