I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
