The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Randomize
