I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
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