wat bout pragnant strippers??
well I can't set my house on fire every night
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize