he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Its about making memories worth repressing
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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