watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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