I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Randomize
