I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
