Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I just blew my weed a kiss
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Randomize
