i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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