Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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