But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
