Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Randomize