your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize