I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
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