are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Randomize
