I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
