How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
You pole danced in your parka.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
