Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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