you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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