Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
