dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Randomize
