Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize