is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
