i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
