Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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