but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
