I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Randomize
